Separation Anxiety

Last night was yet another milestone for Caleb. Chris and I put him in the nursery at church for the very first time. It was for the Wednesday night teaching time that Chris and I attend now. (Note: Our Teaching Pastor is doing a 12 week series on Revelation...verse by verse. Fascinating!) Anyway, Caleb joined us for dinner and then we checked him in. I figured Wednesday night would be a good time to try the nursery out because it was somewhat less hectic than Sunday morning or Saturday night. Handing him over to the lady was hard. I told them that I am nursing him but it was okay to try a bottle first. I provided the bottle with a probably over supplied diaper bag. They carried him away and Chris and I went on to the teaching time. Soon after we arrived the number '1343' popped up on the pager monitor and I was convinced it was Caleb even though his number is '1345.' I had just written the number down wrong, right? My baby needed me. Well, as can be expected it wasn't Caleb. I did peek in on his room and he was actually doing okay. He was being cared for by a very sweet looking grandmotherly type lady. The whole infant room was grandmotherly type ladies. They can take care of babies. Yes, they can. I had to keep telling myself that until I was able to return to the service. The parts of the lesson I actually heard were very interesting. But, I just kept thinking about caleb. I even left 5 minutes early so I could pick him up before the rush. I peeked in his room first and saw him being cuddled in a blanket and he was fast asleep in the ladies arms. Now, I felt kind of guilty because he looked so comfortable. I manged to pick him up and I felt complete again. The first nursery visit was now over. I did far worse than he did. I know that this will probably be a fluke experience. I know that I will probably be called to the nursery plenty of times in the future. I am just thankful for this good experience. Yeah, Caleb! We did it!

Oh my Gosh! My House!

Caleb and I were just taking a nap together and I came to a terrible realization. My house is a MESS! There is clutter everywhere and I mean everywhere! Clutter clutter clutter!! When did my house get to this point?! I know, I am the mother of a barely 2 month old son and housework does not have to be the highest priority right now especially when I'm already struggling to keep my priorities straight. But, good grief! This is horrendous. I know I wasn't the neatest housekeeper before Caleb was born. I confess that. I know Chris would agree. I just never thought it could get to this point. Now I have to face the task of tidying up somehow, sometime. I guess I can try to just pick up a little bit each day and the theory is that my house will be much cleaner some day. I just hope my cluttery nature does not out run my attempts to pick up.

Why must you touch?

Why do people always have to touch babies? Yes, they are cute and cuddly and just wonderful but I don't want perfect strangers touching my baby. I don't know how many times I've been out and about shopping or whatever and people will come up to Caleb in his carseat and touch him, especially his feet. NO! If I don't know you, please don't touch my son. I don't know what you have on your hands. My family and friends are so considerate and they always wash their hands before they pick up Caleb without ever me asking. I never had to mention a thing from when he was born till now. They just know. I've also noticed that from other moms. They won't touch him because their hands are dirty or just cold. I wish that were the case with everyone else. Unfortunately, it isn't. It seems the general rule is that if there is a cute baby you have to touch it. I was at Walmart today with Caleb strapped to me in his carrier. (He hates his carseat and I figured out that if he is strapped to me, I will have a much more pleasant shopping experience). Everyone made comments about him and that is kind of nice. I know my son is incredibly cute and I enjoy hearing it. BUT, please don't touch him. Not only are you infringing on him but you are also entering my personal space. One lady even came up to us in line and touched his feet and mentioned that he wasn't getting good circulation in his legs because of his carrier. Note: Caleb would let me know if he was not comfortable. Then the cashier said his feet were cold, thus the color. So, not only was I getting unwanted advice, they were touching him too. GEEZ!! DON'T TOUCH THE BABY!! Okay, I'm done now. I just had to get that out. Whoo!

Eat like a cow...

I got my issue of Babytalk yesterday in the mail. I'm always so excited about getting magazines. I was so excited that I've already read it through. Oh well, that doesn't leave much reading joy for later does it? Anyway, there was an article that struck my fancy. It talks about eating all day long (grazing, thus the eating like a cow) and still losing weight. I was intrigued because, of course, I enjoy eating. But, the key is to eat small healthy snacks throughout the day and to make those snacks convenient. I realized in my previous post that I have been struggling during the day with headaches because I was actually forgetting to eat lunch. I also had no energy and my patience was practically zero. That really stunk for Caleb. So, I thought that premeasured, easily accessible mini-meals might be the key to me staying nourished and energized. I went to the store and bought some of the foods mentioned, such as almonds, apples, carrots, and yogurt to get me started. I didn't buy the handy-dandy portioned snacks because you pay extra for those. I just took those cute snack baggies and portioned out myself and everything is in a Gladware container in the fridge. Now, I just grab a baggie or piece of fruit when I'm hungry. I am also chugging my water. This is only day one of this new daytime eating plan. I will still eat a regular dinner with Chris each night and weekends might struggle but I will do my best to keep portions in check. I will also keep up my exercise by walking and rowing. Caleb and I actually went walking at the park again yesterday and had a good time. It was overcast and that made it more bearable. It actually started raining right when we were heading to the car. Good timing, huh? Well, here's to a mommy's journey towards healthier eating. :-)

Note to Self...Don't forget to eat!

Before I had Caleb I never thought I could EVER forget to eat. When I was in seminary I knew a guy I worked with in the library who had apparently forgotten to eat during exams. He was complaining of headaches and fatigue. He just couldn't figure out why and was assuming he was catching the flu or something. Nope. He had FORGOTTEN to eat for two whole days! Needless to say he felt much better after a large dinner. Such a thought was so foreign to me until now. It seems that some days that Caleb keeps me so busy that I just don't think to eat lunch. I might munch a little bit here and there but nothing even close to being enough. I get headaches come mid-afternoon and assume I'm getting dehydrated and I drink more water. Amazingly, I usually feel better after eating dinner. No one told me that forgetting to eat could be a side effect of being a mother. I almost feel like I should put "EAT" on my daily To-Do list. Being a mother amazes me more and more each day.

A little humor...

I found this on a blog this morning and I couldn't help laughing...makes breastfeeding just a little bit easier.

Twelve Days of Breastfeeding!

by Kelliann Mendez (breastfeeding peer counselor)

On the first day of breastfeeding my mommy gave to me:
colostrum to increase my immunity!

On the second day of breastfeeding my mommy gave to me:
two full breasts and colostrum to increase my immunity!

On the third day of breastfeeding my mommy gave to me:
minimized jaundice, two full breasts and colostrum to increase my
immunity!

On the fourth day of breastfeeding my mommy gave to me:
fewer Dr. visits, minimized jaundice, two full breasts and colostrum to
increase my immunity!

On the fifth day of breastfeeding my mommy gave to me:
LESS ALLERGIES!... fewer Dr. visits, minimized jaundice, two full
breasts and colostrum to increase my immunity!

On the sixth day of breastfeeding my mommy gave to me:
Zero constipation LESS ALLERGIES!... fewer Dr. visits, minimized
jaundice, two full breasts and colostrum to increase my immunity!

On the seventh day of breastfeeding my mommy gave to me:
teeth and jaw development, zero constipation,
LESS ALLERGIES!... fewer Dr. visits, minimized jaundice, two full
breasts and colostrum to increase my immunity!

On the eighth day of breastfeeding my mommy gave to me:
reduced risk of breast cancer, teeth and jaw development, zero
constipation, LESS ALLERGIES!... fewer Dr. visits, minimized jaundice,
two full breasts and colostrum to increase my immunity!

On the ninth day of breastfeeding my mommy gave to me:
skin to skin comfort, reduced risk of breast cancer, teeth and jaw
development, zero constipation, LESS ALLERGIES!... fewer Dr. visits,
minimized jaundice, two full breasts and colostrum to increase my
immunity!

On the tenth day of breastfeeding my mommy gave to me:
decreased chance of diabetes, skin to skin comfort, reduced risk of
breast cancer, teeth and jaw de

A Walking We Will Go...

Caleb and I went walking together for the first time today. I found out yesterday that Caleb is holding his head up well enough now that I can put him in our baby carrier facing out from me. That way he can look around all he wants. We got up this morning ate breakfast and put on our work out clothes. He was wearing a thin onesie that is really cute. We drove to a local park because I don't want to walk on the streets with Caleb strapped to me. I just wouldn't feel safe. Anyway, we went to the park and started walking. He did so well!! He was just looking and looking. I was able to walk a mile which is one lap around the lake. I might have been able to do more but Caleb fell asleep about 3/4 of the way around and we were both hot. I didn't want to push it because I don't want him to hate going on these walks. I want it to be a fun time for us both. Maybe we'll do it again tomorrow. I just can't wait for the Fall to get here and the temperatures are much cooler. I know it will be more fun and enjoyable for us both then. Until the Fall, we will go out sometimes and I will continue to row in evening sometimes.

Disposable Diapers!

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/parenting/category?blogid=29&cat=851

I found this blog entry off of BloggingBaby.com today and I loved it. I feel supported and vindicated. I too love Disposable Diapers and I am not ashamed to say it. I use them each and every day and I even confess that I never even considered cloth diapers. That was mainly because of where I live. There is no diaper service in semi-rural Southeast Georgia. I would have to sterilize, wash, dry, and fold all my own diapers. Who knows how many of those cloth barriers I would have to buy. Then there is also the money to use all the super hot water I would have to use to wash the little nasties. I guess I would've at least considered cloth diapers if there was a good diaper service near by but there isn't. Too bad! So, I am a proud disposable diaper using Mommy. They work great on even the biggest disasters and Caleb doesn't seem to mind. Cleanliness and plenty of Butt Paste keeps his tooshy nice and fresh.

What a day!

Wow! Today has been something else! Chris, Caleb, and I are finally in for the night at my Dad's house. I had no idea that we would be doing so much when we came down here. Let me start with last night. Caleb hates traveling in the car. So, he actually cried half way of the 2 hour drive. I was afraid of that. He finally fell asleep after a rapid diaper change that occurred during a stopped train. That was interesting! We go to Dad's house and it went pretty smoothly from then on. Today we woke up and went to McDonald's for breakfast. That was fun. After that Chris, Caleb, and I went to Red Lobster with an old High school friend. That was fun too. I assumed we would be in for the day till dinner time. Nope! Betty, my stepmom, wanted to take Caleb to her parent's house for them to meet him. That went pretty well except Caleb had long passed his tolerance of his carseat by that point. Finally we went out for BBQ at my favorite local restaurant. The food was wonderful but the atmosphere left me wanting. We apparently got the kid's room. It was probably the loudest room in the resturant. Caleb finally had enough and started to cry. Well, some people next to us started looking at us and made comments about "that crying baby." Of course. they had some pretty loud kid's themselves and they weren't making comments about the other loud kids in the room. I finally had enough and took Caleb out of the resturant. I didn't blame him one bit for being so upset. He has never been away from home for so long and he has never been held by so many people in one day either. Poor Kid! We are home now and Caleb is fed, in his pajamas, and sleeping soundly in his crib. I am so glad. I confess I am going to stay home from church tomorrow morning and sleep in and let Caleb have a quiet morning. He needs it terribly. I hope he sleeps well and recovers well from his BIG DAY! I'll be back after we get home. :-)

To Grandpa's We Go...

This weekend is a big milestone for Caleb. He is going to go on his very first road trip. Chris, Caleb, and I are packing up half the house it seems and we are going to visit my Dad and Stepmom. I confess I'm pretty nervous. Have I packed everything we need for Caleb? Do I have enough diapers, wipes, outfits? Thankfully, my Dad told me they were able to score a pack n'play from a friend so we don't need to worry about that. One less thing. But, that is just Caleb. What about me? Am I forgetting anything? Toothbrush? Hairbrush? Socks? I also have to pack for Chris. Whoo! This might take all day. I also have to pack up Eowyn and send her on to the other set of Grandparents to be doggie-sat. Eowyn practically requires her own suitcase. She needs her kennel, food, bowl, bone, toy duck (the duck is almost like a security blanket...she can't be without it), harness, leash, and invisible fence system (thankfully, that is portable). Once all is said and done we have to actually get to my Dad's house. That is what I'm most worried about. We can't leave till Chris gets home at about 6:15 and after we eat dinner. Well, that is getting into Caleb's grumpy time of the day. It would be great if we could somehoe hook up his swing in the car but with a Ford Focus, that is not possible. The swing seems to work well in calming Caleb down. So, I'm just praying that the motion of the car puts Caleb to sleep. If not, it will be a very "musical" two hours. I will do my best to make sure he is happy by confirming he has on a very clean and dry diaper and I will be feed him till he is nice and full and cuddly. Wish us luck! Off we go....

It is time to start...

Caleb turned 6 weeks yesterday. Yeah! He is so big now with an actual double chin. I am so proud at how ell he is growing up. He is even starting to have some kind of daily schedule. You know I like that. Anyway, enough bragging for now. Since Caleb was born I've known I would be needing to lose some weight. I've lost a good bit of my pregnancy weight thanks to breastfeeding. I am very happy with that aspect of of breastfeeding. But, I started my pregnancy already overweight. When Chris and I decided to go off birth control I kept saying, "You need to lose weight before you get pregnant so you'll have a lower baseline." I said that over and over again. Then I got pregnant a lot quicker than I thought. I thought that since I had been on birth control for almost 3 years that surely it would take more than 3 months to get pregnant. I had time right? Wrong! So, these past 6 weeks I've been telling myself to not push it because I am still recovering from Caleb's birth (C-section) and I need to focus on him and getting into a rhythm. Well, he is six weeks old now, my incision doesn't hurt anymore, and he seems to be getting a schedule. I think I've exhausted all my excuses.

So, I'm am declaring that it is time to start on this journey for weight loss. I'll use this blog to document my days as a mommy and that includes my adventure in getting my body back. I confess it is hard to eat right at times when I can only use one hand to eat with a squirming, sleepy baby in the other arm. Drinking water is no problem being that I'm breastfeeding. Granted there are days that I fail and Caleb gets way hungry due to a drop in my milk supply. But, over all getting my water is easy. Most days I think I drink close to a gallon. Whoo! For exercise, I thankfully have an awesome indoor rowing machine that we bought with some inheritance money. I love it!! I actually got Chris to watch Caleb last night while I rowed 2000 meters. I will be using the rower as often as possible and once the weather cools off I will start walking too. I'll be keeping a log of my progress and that includes...gulp...my weight. Ick! Here goes nothing!

Starting weight: 174 lbs. (fully clothed)
Fat %: 35.5 %

May the adventure begin!

Breastfeeding Confession

I have a confession today. For some reason I don't think Caleb has been getting enough milk today. I am probably dehydrated due to the terrible heat and just not keeping up with my water. That is probably why Caleb has been fussy today and not sleepting too well. Well, I broke down and gave him some formula from a bottle a little while ago. While I was giving him the bottle I had thoughts of how much easier it would be for Caleb to be bottlefed. I was having thoughts of quitting breastfeeding. I feel terrible for thinking this way. What is a mother to do?

Naps

Today Caleb and I took a nap together. For some reason he has no problem falling asleep when he is on me but the moment that I move him to his crib he starts to cry quite profusely. He has to get used to his crib someday and for that reason I usually move him to his crib as soon as I think he is drowsy or asleep enough. I then move on to my own activities. Well, I've been going through that cycle today several times already to no avail. Finally, around 11:30 I fed him and let him sleep on my chest while I lay down on the couch. I ended up falling asleep myself. It was very sweet and touching to wake up and to see Caleb out cold on top of me. My first thought was to move him to his crib right then. But, then I realized what a precious moment this was. So, I just lay there and looked at him over and over again. I knew that it won't be long before he is too big to sleep on his Mom. I just savored the moment for a good 20 minutes or so. Finally, I had to get up and move around and I braved moving Caleb to his crib. He woke up just as I expected. Now he is in his swing with a full belly. I haven't gotten too much done today but I am so glad that I got to take that nap with my son.

Caleb's Numbers

I forgot to mention this in my last post. Caleb is now 9 lbs. 3 oz. and 22 inches long! Wow! This boy is growing like crazy. I had no idea that my milk is that good. Goooooo Mom!

Going to the Doctor

Caleb was born with a heart murmur. The doctors said the murmur was probably transitional and would go away given enough time. Even though they thought it would go away they wanted him to be seen by a Pediatric Cardiologist just to make sure. I had to drive from home to Savannah because this doctor is not in our county. The drive is a good hour due to traffic. With that amount of time I have to feed Caleb once we get there. There is nothing quite like nursing a baby in your car while sitting in a parking deck. Once we got to the doctor the waiting room was terribly crowded with several unattended loud children. Thankfully, Caleb was very good and stayed either sleeping or just content. That didn't last long though. He lost it once he was taken to the back. The nurse had to take his blood pressure and do an EKG. Both of those tests are dependent on staying still. I don't know how they expect a baby, not quite 6 weeks old, to stay still especially when he is cold and mad. We had to attempt these tests several times due to Caleb's behavior. The only thing that worked was to nurse him again in the examination room. Aaaahhh, nothing quite like nursing a baby in a doctor's office. The tests finally worked but the EKG was very sad looking. There had to have been at least 8 cords coming off of Caleb's chest, side, and legs. Poor little guy!! I would be mad too. We made it to the room where the actual doctor would see him. That is when he decided to be happy. He smiled and made happy noices. The doctor came in and listened to Caleb's heart. The crying started up again but thankfully the doctor was able to get enough information before that. After all was said and done, Caleb was asleep once I put him in his carseat. He slept all the way home and is still sleeping now. The break is great for me but this behavior would've been nice during his doctor's visit too. I'm just glad we are home now and Caleb is healthy. No visits to the doctor until his 2 month checkup and then we get to do shots! Yeah!

Days and Nights...

It appears that Caleb is finally getting his days and nights turned around the way they are supposed to be. He is sleeping far less during the day, much to my chagrin, and he is sleeping far more at night. (I guess I just have to pick my sleeping battles.) For example, last night he slept for 6 hours straight. I got up once to feed him and he is still sleeping now at almost 8 am. I love the sleep, oh I love the sleep, but being that I am breastfeeding 6 hours can a bit painful at times. A couple of nights ago Caleb even slept for 8 HOURS STRAIGHT! Wow! I'm just hoping that my body adusts to Caleb's new schedule and then all will be just great. Thanks Caleb for catching onto our schedules. Our family is much better for it.

Fellowship

I did a wonderful thing tonight. Chris and I dropped Caleb off at the Grandparents and we attended a small group of our church. I've been wanting and needing to fellowship with some other people. The group was started by some good friends of ours and of course, there were other great people there too, including Chris' sister and her husband. It was so great to be with other adults and to talk on their level and to make new friendships. I can't wait to start going to the same small group each week. We have a standing babysitting arrangement with Chris' parents for each Sunday night so we can go to the small group. I see this group as the first step in me re-entering the adult world after being home all the time with Caleb. It felt so good to pick Caleb up at the end of the evening. It is amazing how a little separation can make you miss someone so much. Now, I get to start another week on a great foot.

Mommyhood

And so it begins...

I have embarked on the greatest adventure of my life. My son, Caleb (almost 6 weeks old now), was born July 5, 2006 at 7:45 pm. He was 7 lbs. 5 oz. and 20.5 inches long. It took him quite awhile to get here. He was already a week late and I entered the hospital to be induced. I ended up being in induced labor for 36 hours only to have Caleb delivered by C-section. But, I am more than thankful that my wonderful son was born healthy.

I am staying home with Caleb as my husband works extremely hard everday to support us both. We love him so much for it. Thanks Honey! I love staying home but there are times that I can get frustrated and even quite lonely. I have been yearning for some form of a creative outlet and I believe blogging is the way to go. Chris, my husband, set me up with a computer in the living room so I could easily work on finances each day while watching Caleb. The location of the computer makes for a perfect blogging atmosphere. I can come and go and write as much or as little as I want or Caleb will allow.

It is here that I will chronicle the first year of Caleb's life with all the joys and challenges that go with it. I will write about myself and all that I am doing and yearn to do. I have the greatest family ever and I can't wait to write about it. Let the adventure begin!